We now stand at the precipice of Christmas break and in it our freedom from the cold clutches of the classes that have held us captive for the past few months. Only one thing stands in our way, and that thing is final exam week. Never fear my friend, Day By Day is here with some helpful stress-relieving techniques.
Day One – Yoga Day
There are five basic branches of yoga, and although I don’t know what they are and couldn’t pronounce them if I did, I do know that any one of them results in a trip to the emergency room with a foot lodged in a very unfortunate location. That said, from the one semester of yoga I took to fulfill a P.E. credit, I learned that with proper breathing and exercise, anyone could make themselves stress free. Except for me, especially when my yoga final exam required me to do a head-stand and resulted in a pulled groin and a black eye for my professor.
Day Two – Violent Video Game Day
If there’s one thing I learned from Nature of Math, it’s that nothing can take away my pent up frustrations over the book “Flat Lands” than an extended period of aimlessly running over virtual pedestrians in Grand Theft Auto. Some may say it’s sick, and they may very well be correct, but if running over pedestrians is wrong then maybe I don’t want to be right. Be sure to dedicate a few hours each night before you hit the books to get that stress out of your system, and if you stay up too late, remind yourself that you can always do your reading in the morning.
Day Three – Music Break Day
Nothing can get you in the mood for studying quite like the right tunes to back you up. Blast yourself some “Disney Classic Hits Volume Five” as you begin to memorize your biblical passages for your New Testament class. Then find yourself surprised the next day to recite Ephesians 1 perfectly as “The Colors of the Wind.”
Day Four – Late Night Burrito Run Day
Be sure not to let the stress get in the way of your late night studying by taking a quick trip to a local food joint. Although your only options at four in the morning may be various mexican restaurants, remind yourself of the nutritional value to be found in beans. Then rush home as the hot sauce turns your intestines to a single churning ball of cramps.
Day Five – Nap Time Day
On this day get rid of all that stress you’ve built up from studying all night by taking a quick nap. I find that the best slumbers are often the most unexpected ones. On this day be sure to stare listlessly at your final exam before blacking out and waking up an hour later in a haze of confusion. Yes, you might feel an additional boost in stress levels when the professor announces you have five minutes left, but cherish the rush of adrenaline you’ll get as you randomly fill in circles and scribble an essay that for some reason vaguely relates your cat to geology.
Day Five – Beg Your Professor Day
Sure, your stress might have pwned you good by earning you only a fraction of the possible points on your test, but turn those lemons into sweet bitter lemonade by approaching your professor in tears and explaining that your grandmother died the previous morning. When he reminds you that your grandmother already died earlier that semester, quickly counteract by saying your grandfather also for some reason went by the name of “grandmother” and you don’t like to talk about it. Consider yourself covered.
Day Six – Reap the Benefits Day
On this day, kick back and relax as you realize that grades aren’t everything in this world. Cherish the C’s you have worked so hard to earn and remind yourself that even if your parents wouldn’t be quite pleased with your grade reports, there’s always photoshop to convince them you earned otherwise.
