As a student of this top-rate, first-class, cream-of-the-crop, pick-of-the-litter little institution known as Biola University, you are comfortably seated in the throne of academic excellence and spiritual betterment and growth. Consequently, you are bursting with passion and fervor for this school’s glory and honor, desperate to prove its superiority to all passersby. Therefore, start representing Biola the best way you know how: Day-by-Day style.
Day One
You’ve all seen those baggy-jeaned, headphone-wearing teens wielding giant red arrows on street corners, advertising everything from new housing developments to high-quality car washes. Now it’s time we Biolans showed them a thing or two about how to spin a sign. Perfect the quadruple front flip and the twirl-on-the-finger tricks to blow viewers away. Looking for that extra kick of creativity? Create signs shaped as crosses or the Ichthys (the Jesus fish).
Day Two
For those of you with a car (or a friend unlikely to strangle you for vandalizing theirs), vehicle art is the ideal way to shout, “I love Biola!” as you rocket down Rosecrans. Get flamboyant and feisty — complete with streamers, flags, Bible verses and pictures of Todd Pickett’s face in every window. Outclass all the competition by plastering every Biola bumper sticker in existence on your car’s backside (even if you’re not technically a Biola Dad). Just remember not to speed or blow through stop signs; you’re now a 45 mph witness for the Lord.
Day Three
Every trip to Stater Bros., free-dress day at work and suit-and-tie event should spell one thing for you and your attire: B-I-O-L-A. If you haven’t yet raided the Bookstore, do so immediately, and stock up on t-shirts, sweatshirts, sweatpants and sandals. Spice up any black-and-white occasion with a little red, and crash all away athletic games sporting a full menagerie of Biola apparel. Got any fashion flair yourself? Try designing some original Biola attire in your spare time — I for one have always wanted a hat in the exact shape of the belltower.
Day Four
Thinking on a seriously huge scale? Maybe try putting a ten-foot image of the Biola Eagle on the side of the freeway? Believe it or not, renting a billboard only costs around $1,000 a month. Which means if every student gives a mere cent a day, Biola could officially own a 50 by 15 foot expanse of advertising goodness on the I-5. Think of the possibilities! Quotes from recent chapels, a gigantic picture of Dr. Barry Corey’s face with some inspiring words about unity and faith, even a montage of subtle insults against APU … Just kidding, we all love our enemies here.
Day Five
Music is the window to the soul. As such, it is one of our greatest tools for spreading the word of Biola’s beauty to a lost and lonely world. Whether you be a rocker, a rapper or a country hick, leap onto the concert scene with Biola-inspired beats and ballads, and start blowing audiences away with such chart-toppers as: “Smells Like Eagle Spirit,” “Stairway to Metzger” and “Chapel on My Mind.”
Day Six
Remember the days when we’d mow our neighbors’ lawns for a few dollars in ice cream truck money? It’s time to return to that era, only with a slightly altered agenda. Apply for as many gardening positions as possible, then set the plan in motion: mow “Biola University” into every lawn, plant red and white roses in every flowerbed and trim the bushes in the shape of Biola’s campus. If you’re feeling especially spirited, hammer “DBC for President” signs into that freshly mowed lawn.
