When it comes to movie preference, most of us fit into one of three categories: the Jason Bournes of the world who thrive on explosions and epic duels, the Elizabeth Swanns who want nothing more than to be swept off their feet by the dashing Prince Charming, and the Napoleon Dynamites whose cinematic interests are shared by few and understood by none.
Welcome to Motion Picture Cultivation 110, where you will learn, the Day-by-Day way, to appreciate a wider range of movie genres than the Academy Awards themselves.
Day One
Where better to begin the expansion of your film familiarity than, well, in the beginning. Okay, maybe not all the way back, but the classics of the last century at least. After all, who doesn’t enjoy five solid hours of colorless, special-effect-deficient dialogue between mustachioed charmers and their elegant lady friends? With such all-time greats as “Gone With the Wind,” “Citizen Cane” and “Casablanca” to drink in, you’ll be set for a full 24 hours with this category. Tip: if you’re a natural multitasker, try napping and watching “Ben-Hur” simultaneously.
Day Two
Face it men, chick-flicks are a permanent staple of our culture, and if you want a decent chance with the ladies, you’re going to have to learn to enjoy or at least tolerate their romantic escapades into “once upon a time.” Besides, chick-flicks are surprisingly valuable tools of instruction. “Hitch” will finally teach you how to woo your true love, “Titanic” reminds us that the heart will always go on, and “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” — well you get the picture. Don’t be ashamed to bawl your eyes out in “The Notebook” – everybody loves a sensitive soul.
Day Three
Lock and load folks, it’s time for those fireballs, sword fights, car chases and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Good against evil, hero versus villain, a race against the clock to save the world from utter destruction. Where would mankind be without the voice of Darth Vader, the soundtrack of “Mission: Impossible,” the bullet-dodging of “The Matrix” and the abs of the “300?” Need to get the full dose in less than half an hour? Try the first 15 minutes of “Saving Private Ryan.” Then roar alongside the Gladiator: “Are you not entertained?”
Day Four
With Halloween right around the corner, most of us are in a mood for some thrills and edge-of-the-seat jumpers. Whether you’re the type to go for serious scares or the more cheery chap who’d rather watch Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin Patch, few experiences are more exciting than a good suspense. Be sure to start easy and work your way up — get past “Ghostbusters” first, then worry about “Silence of the Lambs.” By Halloween, you just might be ready for something as intense as “The Birds”… hey, those crows are intense.
Day Five
Mark Twain once said, “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” In that case, who needs atomic bombs when we have Will Ferrell in an elf suit and Jim Carrey in the shoes of God. Comedy is one of film’s oldest and most loyal friends, and continues to leave us rolling on the floor with a single punch line. So put on your Blue Steel stare, grab some tots and let’s join Monty Python on the quest for the Holy Grail.
Day Six
If simply staring at a screen for hours gets you down, never fear, musicals are here! After all, when the hills are alive with the sound of music and the Phantom of the Opera is inside your mind, everything just seems to reach a whole new world, and we all end up singin’ in the rain. Set all embarrassment and fear of failure aside and belt out the lyrics to “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.” Before you know it, you may just find yourself somewhere over the rainbow.
