If you’ve been following this column series, you know I’m doing my best attempt to explain types of men that I’ve seen many Christian girls get into relationships with.
Last week, I talked about Childish Chad.
Next up to the plate is Pretty Boy Ricky. He brings the feminist, vanity-filled bat with him to the plate. Hopefully, I can equip you with a few curveballs to throw at him next time he comes your way. Enough with the baseball analogy, right?
Meet Pretty Boy Ricky
Pretty Ricky is the type of guy who is into what he wears, what he looks like, and how you might be affecting his image.
As a side note: It’s OK for guys to desire to look good, but it shouldn’t be their priority … so before I get any letters, remember that. He’s the type of guy who “carries a mirror in his pocket” and a “comb up his sleeve” just in case that “extra hold gel” lets his hair fall out of place, with thanks to Shania Twain for the great reference.
More than likely, he’s probably telling you where he got his jeans, how expensive they were, or how fine his derrière looks in them. He might even tell you he looks better in your jeans than you do.
Ricky spends 20 minutes in the morning fixing his hair, while most guys don’t spend that much time in the bathroom all day.
Don’t step on his shoes when you’re out on the town, and definitely don’t try to cuddle up with him. You might wrinkle his shirt.
All in all, Pretty Boy Ricky is more of a girl than you are. He’s his own idol –– every reflection he sees of himself makes him smile, and it’s not because you’re with him — it’s because his hair is still in place and it’s 8 p.m.
Don’t fall for it girls
The downside to Rick is he uses his confidence in his looks — or should I say insecurities elsewhere — to win girls over. Between that and flirty banter, he can swoop up your heart in a minute.
He doesn’t tell you you’re beautiful – he wants to know he’s beautiful. He doesn’t take care of you because he’s too busy looking in his purse … err, jeans for that mirror.
It’s the suave, pretty boys that tend to live in their glory days. Maybe that was high school, maybe it’s college and — God forbid — it may carry into marriage. I have seen so many of my parents’ friends divorce because of affairs –– Pretty Boy Ricky may find another woman to fall for his tricks at the bar on that business trip.
Although by now you may know where I’m going, I’m going to say it anyways. Don’t give your heart away to this fool.
You don’t want to be his trophy girlfriend and, one day, trophy wife. Pretty Boy Rickys –– and all of us young men at that –– need to learn how to affectionately win a woman’s heart over with our hearts, which should first and foremost be hearts for God.
Ricky needs to grow out of his pair of size five Lucky jeans and grow enough to fit into big-boy pants.
So what if I’m already with Ricky?
It’s time to have that great DTR –– out of love for him as your brother in Christ, as someone’s potential husband, and out of love for someone you care for and respect.
Perhaps breaking up isn’t the answer, but you could start challenging him to turn his heart to God and not to have any idols before him.
Maybe some time apart could help him grow up. If he rebounds into Childish Chad, you’ll get a real picture of where he’s at in life. Those who really want to grow into the man of God you desire will do so; those who can’t give themselves up will simply expose their hearts to you … and it won’t be pretty.
Don’t settle. Remember to hold those standards high and expect the best. You shouldn’t always be the one telling him who’s beautiful.
If you struggle giving up control of relationships and allowing him to serve you, then don’t worry, I’ll try my best to give my perspective on that in a few weeks.
For now, evaluate your current state with Pretty Boy Ricky (or Childish Chad), and if his priorities are clearly not with God first, then it’s time to have that DTR.
