Last week I offered some basic ground rules to young women on dating. The next few weeks, I am going to tackle some heavier issues on a few types of guys many probably have dated.

This week I will do my best to tackle one of them: Childish Chad. If you want to check out a really good podcast on the types of “men” to avoid, listen to Mark Driscoll’s “Trial” series on “Men and Marriage.”

Profile of a “Childish Chad”

When it comes to Christian guys, I think Childish Chad is where a lot of girls fall prey. Chad appears to do things right. He’s polite, your mom and dad like him, he does whatever you ask him to and he makes sure that whatever your plans entail, he will be there as well.

Chad likes your girl friends — he doesn’t seem to have a lot of guy friends — and he knows your favorite things and what to say and when to say it.

The problem is, Chad is still a little boy. He tends to put off responsibilities like finding a job, studying, and doing his laundry. Instead “he’s eight years into his undergraduate studies,” as Driscoll says. He is playing video games by night and sleeping by day. He may even go home on the weekend so his mom can do his laundry and empty out his In-N-Out trash of the week from his car.

He lets you plan the dates, lets you drive him everywhere, maybe even lets you pick out his clothes. Dutch treat is his favorite dating vocabulary. The worst part is, when he does say nice things, he probably hides behind text messages and Facebook chat because he does not have the guts to say it in person.

Loving him the wrong way

Sadly, girls fall for these guys. They fall because they think he has so much potential: he’s sweet, nice, and obviously is just too shy to be that way in person. Actually it is because he is emotionally still about 12 years old. As Driscoll also adds, you love him “as a mother is attracted to an orphaned child.”

If you read my column last week, you will remember one of my key concepts is to let him pursue. This is not allowing him to pursue, it is you loving him like a mother nurtures a child.

Chad is not a man. He is a boy trapped inside of a man’s body that may even grow a little facial hair. He deserves a quick kick to the manhood and some brothers to intervene into his life.

He is that guy who, if you break up with him, will probably send you through an emotional circle. First he will hamper you with texts or calls saying how much he misses you. If you don’t take the bite, (Chad misses mommy at this point) he’ll turn bitter and harass you with negative comments as an attempt to make himself feel like a man.

“You’re going to regret this.” Right.

Don’t expect him to respect your privacy. He won’t know how because he won’t know how to be a leader in a relationship. It will be a continual circle until Chad finds new people to pour into his pathetic emotional state.

Girls need to let boys become men

If you don’t believe me on this, let’s talk. I will point you to a plethora of girls that have their own personal tales. There is a growing problem in the church with boys who fail to become men — ask around. Plenty of girls will complain about the same thing.

Somewhere, we taught our boys to calm down and to shut up. We didn’t let them be who God designed them to be— crazy, heroic, adventurous souls — only to turn around and wonder why men live in a video game fantasy world, watching porn and lacking any leadership qualities a man should have in a relationship.

Chad is hoping to find a woman dumb enough to look over his troubles and someone who has their life on track and can let Chad join in for the ride. Read this over, because it is something girls need to understand: Chad will never grow up as long as you are trying to raise him as a child.

Let go of him, let him grow up in the real world, and if he comes back grown-up give him another shot. Sadly, many don’t come back men — most seem to stay boys these days. I will tell you the honest truth, Childish Chad and his brotherhood of toddlers are a joke and by no means equipped to lead a woman in a relationship.

The worst part is he thinks the joke’s on you.