NOTE: THIS COLUMN IS HUMOROUS IN ITS PURPOSES AND IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

Well, this is my final column so I decided to do something special. For past columns, I have given you ideas of things you can do around the area, some one-time events and some regular activities. This one is a little different in that it potentially involves free food. It does, however, assuredly guarantee risk and requires skill and a bit of luck.

My inspiration for this week’s column comes from personal experience. Several weeks ago I went to Norm’s with some friends for breakfast. Being the hungry college students that we were, we ate lots of food. But being the broke college students that we were, our pockets were not necessarily deep enough to accommodate our appetites.

My roommate, the wonderfully brilliant person that she is, managed to rectify both of these things. She took one for the team and sacrificed the bridge of her nose for the sake of our budgets. After being hit in the head with a waitress’ tray and completely winning over the manager with her sweetness, my roommate succeeded in getting all our meals comped.

You might be wondering, how this applies to you. Well, I am going to provide a step-by-step guide for you to enjoy such benefits as well.

Step 1: Gather a small group of friends with large appetites. Make sure one is really sweet and is willing to potentially sacrifice their nose for the group. This person will be the MVP of your team. Sweetness is key in this person, for they must have the personality that will incite sympathy in the restaurant manager.

Step 2: Drive to Norm’s, located off of Whittier Boulevard. Enjoy the food, fellowship and conversations that are sure to ensue. Proceed through your meal in a typical fashion and be sure to leave a generous tip (for a good tip, you can generally just double the tax).

Step 3: When you head to the desk to pay, position your selected friend where he or she will be most vulnerable to passing trays. Ideal spots are the front or the back of the group where passing trays will not be intercepted by friends. This is where luck comes into play, for there are several factors that exist.

First, I do not advocate intentionally stepping in the way of any oncoming waitresses so you must hope that you have to fortune of (literally) running into a waitress. Second, even if one of you happens to be ran into by the tray, the manager must be present to witness the collision and offer to compensate your meal. If all those pieces fall into place, then you will in fact have a free activity on your hands.

The odds are not great, but in that case, this will just be an activity for the bored, not the bored and broke.