The ellipticals remain occupied in the fitness center on Tuesday night. | Ashleigh Fox/THE CHIMES

When alumnus Tyler Conrad used to step into the gym, he was stepping into the place that defined him.

“A lot of what working out originally became for me was a means of being accepted by people. People noticed me, complimented me and wanted to be around me because of what I was able to do with my body through fitness,” Conrad said. 

Working out became Conrad’s gateway to his identity. And when it didn’t satisfy, he just pushed harder.

“In times I didn’t feel accepted or I felt dejected, I would work out as hard as I can, to show that I did have self worth, to praise myself when others weren’t. I used working out to pump up my pride again,” he said.

“You feel pressure to be like them.”

Senior kinesiology major Colton Davis also felt pressure while working out in college, though the sources were external.

“When I first came to Biola, it was a struggle to go in to the weight room and you see guys who are twice your size. You feel pressure to be like them. I feel like there is a misconception that the fitter you are, the more girls will like you. The more fit you are, the more attractive you are to them,” Davis said.

In both cases, acceptance from others is what drove these guys to strive for the “perfect” body.

Healthy diet and eating disorders

After experiencing two eating disorders herself, freshman Alena Casey turned to an obsession with exercise and fitness as a result of similar internal and external pressures.

After sustaining an injury that prevented her from playing basketball at the college level, Casey coped with her loss through a binge-eating disorder, which caused her to gain a significant amount of weight. Repulsed by her own behavior and seeking to gain control over her body, Casey turned to starving herself and watched the weight come off. Then she hit a plateau and stopped losing the unwanted weight.

“Society’s ideal woman was not what I looked like, which threatened me to keep working on losing weight,” Casey wrote in an email.

She turned to exercise and healthy eating in an attempt to achieve this imposed standard.

“Both are fantastic ways to earn my way to a healthy weight, but I completely abused them. I worked out obsessively and ate extremely healthy to the point where it was no longer psychologically healthy,” Casey wrote.

Drive for acceptance affects both men and women

This desperate, deep-seated hunger for acceptance and identity manifests itself in both genders striving to attain perfection through fitness.

Mark Hooper, Fitness Center manager, notices it in the workout habits of both genders.

“On one hand you have the females doing a cardio workout to lose weight while the guys are in the weight room bodybuilding. That’s what [the world says] is sexy,” he said.

Exercise disorders are increasing along with eating disorders, according to Carolyn Costin, founder and executive director of Monte Nido and Affiliates, a recovery center for those who suffer from either disorder. People with exercise disorders attempt to control their bodies, alter their moods and define themselves through working out excessively, Costin said in her article for the UC Davis-founded Association of Body Image and Disordered Eating.

“Instead of choosing to participate in their activity, they have become ‘addicted’ to it, continuing to engage in it despite adverse consequences,” Costin said.

Examining hearts

Davis believes that students need to seriously examine their hearts for the reason behind their workouts.

“It’s important to ask yourself, ‘Who are you working out for?’ When you go to the gym, are you looking in the mirror and saying look at what I’ve done?” Davis said.

He emphasised that there’s nothing wrong with going to the gym, but students need to realize that God gave them their bodies and he enabled them to do what they do.

“It’s not your body, it’s his,” Davis said.

Conrad agrees with Davis, sharing how his perspective on working out has shifted from a means of justification to a lifestyle of worship.

“When I work out or do anything physical, I basically now view it as an offering of thanksgiving to God. Instead of using physical activity to boost my pride, I like to view it as a way to humble myself, knowing it is God by his grace who has given me the ability to do this,” Conrad said.

A need to create space for a conversation

Casey hoped that in coming to Biola, she would encounter a completely different view of body image. However, she was saddened by what she saw and heard on campus.

“Negative attitudes about weight are constantly shared and unhealthy obsessions with eating and fitness are evident in the cafeteria and fitness center,” she wrote.

Casey believes that Biola, as a campus, can address these issues by creating space for conversation.

“Body image and eating disorders can consume minds, build walls and keep us away from the things that matter,” Casey wrote, adding that she would love to see Biola break down these walls in the lives of many.