Looking around campus you see it everywhere: in the Caf, in psychology class, on your walk back to your dorm room. With the promise of spring right around the corner, relationships here seem to go beyond the teasing of ring by spring. Genuine love is in the air.

Flyers for the fourth annual Relationship Retreat have been posted around campus. The retreat targets the stages of mature relationships ranging from couples that are seriously dating to those who are engaged or married.

“It aims to help students understand the foundation of love in relationships and what it means to have a relationship that is Christ-centered and healthy,” said Chris Grace, vice president for Student Development and university planning at Biola.

Grace and his wife Alisa are speakers for the Center for Relationship Enrichment, an organization that grants funds to universities to make these relationship retreats possible.

A couple that runs together stays together

Newly engaged, junior biology major Peter Stacy and junior psychology major Merari Aleman were studying side by side in the library when they made the decision to attend this year’s upcoming relationship retreat.

“I think [the retreat] would be beneficial for us. We’re starting this new stage in life so I think it would be good for us to have some guidance and a way to learn how to maintain our marriage and be able to grow in it too,” Aleman said.

Stacy and Aleman just got engaged on March 2 and are excited about attending the retreat to build on their knowledge of relationships. 

“If you’re wanting to grow a relationship you need to be vulnerable with that other person. It is going to build trust and a bond that keeps you two from keeping secrets and bearing grudges,” Stacy said.

Encouraging each other

Senior Carson Leith, an English major, and alumna Lauren Wilk have been dating for 11 months and are attending the retreat.

“My brother went last year, and he said the retreat was well worth it. The reason we are going is because we see the topic of communication [as] important to nail down at this critical stage in our relationship,” Leith said.

According to Leith, putting the Lord first in their individual lives allows them to have a genuine relationship with the Lord and better communication with each other.

“I think that this conference might help me not be so fearful of conflict but to enter into it with an attitude of safety,” Leith said. “Also, that it’s good to speak your mind and speak truth in what you’re feeling and thinking at that moment. Learning how to work through conflict would be extremely beneficial.”

Premarital planning and praying

Kelby Songer, a human biology major, transferred to Biola last semester as a junior and explained that she noticed the multitude of couples around campus.
           
“I used to go to Westmont University and there were like two married couples there. When I came to Biola I thought it was cool that there were so many more couples that are engaged or married. It’s really neat that they pull couples together for a retreat,” Songer said.
       
Though Songer and fiancé Kyle Schaeffler are not planning on going on the retreat due to prior commitment, Songer said that praying and reading Scripture together regularly is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Communication and counseling

Married couple David Cline, senior communications major, and Jaden Cline are considering going on the retreat because Tim Muehlhoff, a professor in the communications department and his wife Noreen are going to be leading discussion groups there.

Outside of the retreat, David Cline and Jaden Cline participate in marriage counseling at the Biola Counseling Center.

“Every couple days we come together as a couple and have a time where we just talk about God. We talk about things we struggle with and what we need to work on and incorporate God into every part of our relationship,” David Cline said. 

Grace hopes that couples will leave the retreat knowing how to avoid falling into unhealthy communication or conflict patterns.

“[They will] walk away knowing all couples have conflict and that it’s not the absence of conflict but how you manage conflict that determines happiness and healthy relationships,” Grace said.