LifeWay Research found that in 2019, only 49% of pastors spoke openly about mental health, and 35% of avid churchgoers believed mental illness could be cured through Bible study and prayer alone. However, men’s mental health faces an even greater level of neglect in Christian circles. Men’s mental health is stigmatized in the world at large — both Christian and non-Christian — and it’s quite possible that Biola has been no exception.
On Mar. 10, Spiritual Development hosted “A Man’s Heart” chapel dedicated to discussing difficult men’s issues, mental health stigma and how they struggle to be heard in the Christian world. Several male Biolans shared their testimonies of struggle and trial, challenging male and female students alike to consider how their thoughts and actions may be preventing open conversation and intervention with men’s mental health on Biola’s campus.
From these stories, I gathered that being a man at Biola, especially one who struggles with mental health, is not any easier in Christian circles than secular ones. A majority of the problem stems from a lack of safe spaces to facilitate healthy, open conversations about men’s issues. Does Biola as a whole fail to provide adequate safe spaces and resources to men? And more importantly, how can we, as Christians, have a healthier view of biblical manhood?
MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH AT BIOLA
The Man’s Heart chapel discussed a multitude of topics, including addiction and feelings of inadequacy and failure as a man on Biola’s campus. Many of these feelings were attached to sin and have gravely impacted these men’s walk with Christ. Arthur Montoya, the senior bible, theology, and ministry major who organized the chapel, saw a need for brotherhood at Biola.
“My initial desire for the Man’s Heart chapel came after last year’s Brotherhood Symposium,” said Montoya. “I was particularly struck by how few men were inducted into Epsilon Kappa Epsilon, and I figured if men were struggling that deeply academically, they likely struggled deeply spiritually.”
Because of the stigma surrounding men’s mental health, it is difficult to pinpoint where men are struggling due to the lack of open conversation. In the United States, 6 million men are impacted by depression – most of which go undiagnosed – and the number of men who have died by suicide has increased dramatically in recent years. Not being diagnosed not only contributes to a lack of awareness, but a lack of resources catered to exclusively men’s issues.
“My goal for the chapel was to identify a corresponding spiritual struggle of men, name it and seek to address in the community,” said Montoya. “Honestly, when I first started brainstorming my own thinking reflected the problem … I felt God wanted healing for men found in presenting themselves honestly.”
For Montoya, the first step toward creating a safe space for men’s issues was harnessing the ability to be upfront about what male Biolans were feeling.
“I wanted men to collectively acknowledge they were falling short spiritually, and I wanted them to bring themselves in full acknowledgement before God,” he said. “I knew that when they expected rebuke or condemnation in their hearts, they would be met by love and glean a glimpse of the love God has for them … I just wanted to leave a pebble in the shoe of every man and woman present, one which routinely provoked them to run to God and not away from Him when faced with their inadequacies.”
Guilt over sin, shortcomings and a faltering relationship with Christ are all common issues that Christian men might face on a daily basis. However, as Christians, men often face additional expectations of leadership, role modeling and an ability to pick oneself up quickly after any given situation. When a Christian man feels himself falling short, or perhaps slipping into repeating cycles of sin, guilt can prevent them from seeking help – spiritual or otherwise.
“I think evangelical Christianity, in particular, downplays the psychological and emotional components of being formed daily into the image of Christ,” said Montoya. “As a result, we may see issues in one’s life and attribute them to laziness, complacency, or weakness – not understanding the deeper sources of their unconformity. When we as Christians see someone struggling and immediately jump to ways they are not mature, we foster a culture of hiding.”
The culture of hiding, as described by Montoya, is common within the church. To open up a discussion of men’s mental health could lead to questions doubting their ability to lead, guide and be Christ-like. In Christianity, there is a pervasive apprehension surrounding the idea that those who we regard as strong can still struggle and will always fall short of perfection.
“They [men] have two things working against them,” said Montoya. “I think the Church falls prey to the broader culture’s stigma of men’s mental health by passively accepting it. The way this works out in the Christian community is men do not discuss their emotions, their story (including trauma) or their deep desires. It is truly one of the enemy’s greatest triumphs.”
It is this hiding and discouragement against sharing their feelings that causes these men to hide behind a mask – whether it’s of one of intense masculinity, accomplishment or a facade of spiritual perfection. It creates a lack of genuine fellowship and trust, culminating in an environment in which there is no male role model to turn to and imperfections are shamed. It leaves men who are struggling with the question of what healthy manhood should look like, and I think we often forget that we can learn about masculinity in all its complexities from the life of Christ himself.
WHAT DOES JESUS TEACH US ABOUT MANHOOD?
We, as Christians, are lucky to have the perfect example of manhood already in our religious culture. We know that Christ was created perfect (Heb. 5:9), was able to resist temptation to sin (Luke 4:1-13) and that we should strive to imitate him (1 Cor 11:1).
I believe that some stigma surrounding men’s mental health as well as the concept of toxic masculinity could easily stem from interpreting these biblical ideas about Christ less as guidelines and more as strict rules by which men are to live by. While both men and women alike are called to be Christ-like, not allowing room for error or imperfection can undermine what it means to be fallen, yet made in the image of God.
1 John 1:8 states, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us”. Given this, we can assume that even though we are called to imitate Christ, we cannot be without sin. A culture of toxic masculinity and hiding creates shame around falling to temptation, especially for men. Christ, of course, teaches the values that all men should aim to model in a healthy fashion.
The Bible shows that Christ had a strong work ethic, compassion for others, but also struggled with human emotions. When Jesus encountered the tomb of Lazarus, he expressed his emotion in tears in what is the shortest verse of the Bible, John 11:35: “Jesus wept” (NIV).
Christ outlined the values of biblical manhood: family, empathy, hard work and service to others. He did not require perfection or a lack of emotion either. A culture that suppresses the expression of male emotion is the byproduct of the notion that man has the ability to always resist temptation, and that a leader who stumbles and falls cannot be worthy of leading at all. This is not what Christ teaches, but he is instead a role model for which men (and women) are to follow in their daily lives without hiding their mistakes and shortcomings in shame.
Movember, a men’s health charity, found in a survey that while 77% men recognized that talking about their emotions was a healthy coping tool, 58% felt expected to appear emotionally strong and 38% avoided addressing their feelings all together lest they come off as “unmanly.”
However, if we analyze the life and actions of Christ, we can see that this simply isn’t biblical. Even Jesus, the perfect man, expressed tears when he felt strong emotions. He did not avoid difficult conversations with others for fear of judgment. Christ recognizes men’s shortcomings in all forms, whether it is a public fall from grace or private sin that men are afraid to open up about. To be “manly” is not to be unreasonably strong and emotionless, and to do so would simply be denying one’s human nature.
HOW CAN WE PROVIDE?
As reflected in the Man’s Heart chapel, Biola is no exception to the men’s mental health stigma. Even a strong Christian community can fall victim to a cycle of masking and shaming sin for fear of exclusion.
“You can be handed a Christian community on a silver platter and still isolate, cover and hide,” said Montoya. “I know because, for the first three years of my Biola experience, I did just this. I hid behind an amiable personality and high performance in my major and music. I did not have real accountability or friendships, though it felt like I knew so many people.”
Accountability, as mentioned by Montoya, and grace are precisely what any community needs in order to keep mental health stigma at bay and open up safe spaces for conversations. Accountability does not involve shaming one another about sin or shortcomings, but rather being able to help your brothers in Christ recognize where they’re struggling and be an empathetic helping hand.
“When I began my senior year, things were different,” said Montoya. “When given opportunities to really be seen in brotherhood and fellowship, I decided to say yes. I do not know what changed other than I was so tired of constantly grinding for approval that I left as fast as it came. In this newfound fellowship, my emotional and mental health have flourished. I have also learned that there are safe spaces for men to discuss mental health issues but they can be hard to find, sometimes you even have to take the initiative to create your own.”
Biola faculty and students alike can, and should, strive to make these spaces more known and accessible to the men on campus. Women as well should make efforts to recognize emotional struggles in their brothers and Christ, as symptoms and signs can show themselves differently between men and women. Avoidance or fear about speaking up can ultimately be catastrophic to both individuals and Biola’s student body as a whole. Small steps can be taken at the individual and communal level to create a mentally healthy environment.
“I think Biola can have a week dedicated to the role of emotional health in spiritual formation,” said Montoya. “They have weeks for other things but not this. The university should seek funding and partnerships with organizations passionate about this subject. They can partner with Fuller Seminary, the Bible Project, or Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. If they do not do it, it is only a matter of time before a group of students do it for them. But it is much harder for students to do it, so I hope the university can step up in this area.”
With all of that being said, it’s important to remember that the baseline call for all of mankind is to love your neighbor. Loving your neighbor means loving and caring for them despite where they may lack, but also encouraging them to move forward in discipleship. Even Christ showed sorrow in the face of tragedy, and there should not be stigma around men who do the same. A community that demonstrates compassion, accountability and destigmatizes men’s mental health will ultimately be stronger and more Christ-like.
