Let me start with a confession. When praying for friends or family members who have made bad decisions and messed up their lives, I often get discouraged and question whether my prayers are making any difference. Sometimes it seems that the more I pray the worse things get and I start to wonder if God can really turn around a person’s life. Can you relate? Last month while speaking at a marriage conference in Oklahoma City God gave me a powerful reminder that he can still change lives. This refresher course in miracles started when Chuck Douglas picked me up from the airport.
Though he was off duty when a bomb ripped apart the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in downtown Oklahoma City, Chuck was one of the first officers to arrive on the scene on April 19, 1995. He walked into what had been the daycare facility and remembers finger paint sticking to his boots. The nightmarish images of that scene worsened his drinking, bouts of anger and sent an already unstable marriage into crisis. Separated from his wife, depressed, and seeking to reconnect with God and his family, Chuck begged Melissa to attend a FamilyLife Marriage Conference. The only reason she finally agreed was thinking that the communication skills she’d learn would help her in her next marriage. It just so happens that I was speaking at the conference with my wife, Noreen, and had a chance to meet with Chuck and Melissa. Noreen and Melissa connected right away and Noreen carefully explained to her the Gospel. Melissa listened intently and accepted Christ in the lobby of the hotel. While Chuck and Melissa were excited about what God was doing, little did they know that once the conference was over their slowly healing marriage would be severely tested.
After the conference was over, Chuck drove Melissa to her mother’s house where he sat her down on the couch. “If this marriage is going to work,” he began, “I need to come clean.” He proceeded to tell Melissa of multiple acts of unfaithfulness. When she couldn’t hear any more she stood up and ran to the bathroom closing the door. Sick to her stomach, she prayed, “God, I’ve been a Christian for 48 hours. I can’t do this!” All she could do was sit on the floor and wait for a response. “The only way I can explain what happened next is to say that I was flooded with an understanding of how much God had forgiven me. Everything, forgiven. Now, in this moment, the Lord was asking me to take a piece of that forgiveness and give it to my husband. As I walked back from the bathroom to the living room I made the decision to pass on God’s forgiveness.”
Not only did Melissa forgive Chuck, but God dramatically healed their marriage and fractured family. Chuck eventually left law enforcement and decided to come on staff with FamilyLife and today is in charge of the Oklahoma marriage conference (the very conference that saved his marriage)!
King David was also prone to moments of doubt and would often long for God to act in more decisive or quicker ways. How did he combat his doubt? “I shall remember the deeds of the Lord,” proclaims David (Ps. 77:11). While God doesn’t always work according to my timetable or expectations, it helps me to remember miracles like Chuck and Melissa, which in turn give me faith to pray for and believe that God is equally at work in the lives of those close to me.
