Question: Girl – “How do I get guys who don’t know who I am and I’m not in any classes with, to notice and like me?”
I first address this question by thinking about context. For most of my dating life at Biola, I have found that girls love context. Whether it's a class you are both in, a club you are involved in, a church setting, etc. For whatever reason, girls are afraid of guys who are not in their “circle,” and with whom they have no context. I am happy to see that you do not fear the unknown, but are rather intrigued by it. This is a good thing. Here are a couple of pointers for you.
1) Get rid of the contextual argument: If you are going to meet these guys who are “not in your classes,” you have to get past the contextual barrier I just talked about. Are you afraid that if you go up and talk to guys you don’t know, they will think you are a crazy woman? Are you afraid that there is no way to ever get to know a guy who is not a part of your circle? Don't be, it is possible.
2) Be creative: The reason I told you that most girls love context is because I have gone outside of contexts to see if there are girls who are willing to try new things and new people. Therefore, I have had to be creative and, in my approach, act as if there actually is a context and commonality between us. Realize this could be as simple as the place you see that other person: Do you see him in a coffee shop? Talk to him about coffee! Do you see him out on the soccer field? Talk sports. Do you see him in the Caf? Talk about oranges, bread or what spread he likes on his sandwich! Also, remember that Facebook is there for a reason. Don’t add him as a friend; instead send a witty and fun message to break the ice.
3) Light conversation is a GREAT starter: If you don't know some guy, starting a conversation where words and names are exchanged is a great way to get him to notice you, or at least let him know you exist. When you see him again, continue the conversation you had the last time, which creates recognition.
4) These things take time: When you don't know someone or have a context within which to get to know them, realize that it is all about patience and time for recognition. You’ll know when it’s time to call them a friend, or even if it’s time that things progress a little further.
