Movie: “Race to Witch Mountain”

Stars: Three out of Five

Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Anna Sophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig

Director: Andy Fickman

Genre: Family/Action/Adventure

Running Time: 98 min.

Rating: PG

Release Date: March 13

Attention spans are much shorter than they were in 1975. At least, this is what film studios have in mind when remaking classic sci-fi movies. Disney is certainly no exception with their remake of “Escape to Witch Mountain” – the second remake, actually. The title change to “Race to Witch Mountain” pretty much says it all.

This race cuts right to the chase. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson plays Jack Bruno, a taxi driver with a criminal past and enough wicked skills to prevent said past from haunting him too much. Because he lives in Las Vegas, destination of UFO buffs due to its proximity to a certain highly-guarded government compound, he manages to hold off sci-fi nerds as well as mobsters. But when two otherworldly teens mysteriously show up in the backseat of his cab, he feels driven to help them beyond a trip to a creepy shack in the mountains. He follows them into a glaringly bright underground cavern where they retrieve an object from a purple, gelatinous pod. The object itself is hardly as interesting – it looks like a cell phone – but of course it is the same object the bad guys want.

Sara (Anna Sophia Robb) has telepathy and Seth (Alexander Ludwig) manipulates objects. Yet cool superpowers aren’t enough for the extraterrestrial teens when they’re being chased by an alien hit man from their planet and government agents from ours. They’ll need Johnson’s earthly, aforementioned wicked skills to run, drive, crash, and punch their way to a controversial – and pretty – scientist (Carla Gugino) at a generic nerd convention. Sara’s telepathy states the obvious about them, and then it’s time to run, drive, crash, and punch their way to the title’s thinly-disguised Area 51.

Robb and Ludwig play their alien aliases with developing empathy and steely-eyed consistency, respectively, but otherwise this frenetic car chase runs over character development. Attempts at funny dialogue fall flat and self-conscious special effects scream for attention.

Needless to say, this is not great art – it is a theme park thrill ride, a kids’ sci-fi flick pumped on caffeine and sugar. This in-your-face UFO remake may alienate fans of the original. In its own context, however, it is what it is: a light action alternative to the latest big, dumb, violent blockbuster for the young and young at heart.