I scanned the crowd from the back, squinting my eyes trying to find a chair. There were a few open seats, but these turned out to be saved. Eventually I found one, right in the middle of the auditorium. I squeezed into the aisle, not wanting to interrupt, and hid in my chair, slightly embarrassed — I was five minutes late to Bible class.

Something’s wrong here. In high school, when I was looking at schools, I remember being drawn to Biola because it boasted a wonderful student-faculty ratio. I learn best in small settings, and was looking forward to the intimate atmosphere, and the ability to dialogue in a class setting without being intimidated by a lot of people. I was mostly looking forward to this intimacy in my Bible classes.

Now I know there are Bible classes with intimate settings, and I know there are professors who doggedly seek community and demand discussion. But I also know everyone has to go through seven lecture classes to get to them. I still have yet to be in one Bible class under 40 students, and I only have one elective left before I get my highly praised Bible minor.

Biola prides itself in its Bible program. Thirty units of good, wholesome, systematic theology for everyone. That’s pretty huge; nobody does that anymore.

My question: are we sticking to it for tradition’s sake alone?

I think something’s wrong here.

Am I wrong in thinking that the most important place to have small, intimate, dialogic classes is the Bible department? There are a lot of big things to unpack in that book.

Sometimes it takes intense debate filled with doubt and confusion. There needs to be an open forum where people can feel welcome to take risks and share their hearts.

Our Bible classes should be the first place for this discussion to happen. This discussion doesn’t happen in a 200-student lecture class in Mayers with students packed into every seat. It doesn’t happen when every single student is required to take the exact same classes, pass the same tests and submit to the same theology.

And I know I’m not the only one who needs intimate settings to learn in.

A main reason why this dilemma exists is obvious. If every student in this 4,000-plus school is required to take the same classes, it is impossible to have enough quality faculty to teach small class settings.

That is part of the problem. But I’m also not satisfied with the set-up.

The real problem: 30 units of Bible, when seven of the classes are required, is not effective for real personal growth (I am beginning to wonder if that is even slightly the goal).

Do you find it odd how impersonal the most personal aspect of our Biola education is?

I realize mature spirituality shouldn’t be affected by whether or not one’s Bible classes are less than 30 people. I know it comes down to what you make of the class, and I could just as easily not glean something from an intimate class as a lecture class. But I know when I first came to Biola, I was looking for a lot of help. I thought the best place to get it was in my Bible classes.

But from the first day of being surrounded by 75-plus Biolans, I felt disconnected, and I have ever since, in Biola’s Bible class setting (there have been moments, but they are few and far between).

I need to feel supported, loved, and known if I am ever going to be open with my spirituality, or maybe that’s a problem in me. I guess I’d just expect the “biblically centered education,” and “intentional spiritual development” that Biola boasts to be a serious, personal, intimate investment for all students who choose to attend the university — not a systematic spiritual checklist, of which the goal is a minor stamp on my diploma.