Few people get to experience being an identical twin. This unique relationship ties two individuals together for a lifetime. You have someone who was there before your best friends, teammates and even spouse. This lifelong partnership has become one of the most influential factors shaping my worldview.
Having an identical twin has taught me to better understand who I am. This might seem cliche, but it becomes incredibly easy to lose your sense of identity when everything you do automatically compares to someone else. If God made us all unique and special, then what am I, some sort of cosmic printer jam?
Through my relationship with my sister I learned that someone’s real identity goes far beyond anything externally visible. But, if two people who look the same, like and do the same things and have virtually the same DNA exist as completely unique individuals, how can we ever hope to relate to people from different generations, cultures, ethnicities and religions?
REALIZING OUR GOD-GIVEN IDENTITIES
The answer begins in realizing our God-given identities and what he has given us to do on this earth. Our identities contain so much more than academic or athletic merit. A major breakthrough in my relationship with my sister happened when we both decided to stop one-upping each other. Instead, we started to lift each other up and help each other be our best.
My sister and I agreed a long time ago to stop judging each other. This became my favorite thing about our relationship because it gave us freedom. We do not have to prove ourselves to one another because we fully accept each other’s identity, and we no longer feel the need to compete for the coveted role of “Alpha Twin.” A wonderful quote about sisterhood goes something like, “Her success is not your failure,” and I think many people, non-twins included, still needs to understand what this means.
Overcoming the competitive side of our relationship involved trudging through the nitty-gritty details of everyday life for over eighteen years.Through this difficulty I realized that real relationships start when you stop trying to raise yourself above others and start trying to lift others above yourself. Once we stop assigning roles and titles to people through our messed-up social hierarchy, we can start loving and accepting people for who they really are, the children of God.
An infinite number of moments can build a friendship, but the truly defining moments always seem to be the smallest. Through being a twin I have learned that small moments build deep friendships, whether that means being the strength in another’s weakness, or giving someone the freedom to dance, and maybe even joining in.
