As an egalitarian it is my belief that the head of any marriage should neither be male nor female, but God alone, and that a husband and wife should work together from a position of equality to help one another follow Christ. Mutually sharing authority in a marriage from a two-have-become-one-flesh mentality makes more sense to me for several reasons.

We are all fallen creatures

First of all, to make one person the definitive authority figure in a marriage is problematic, as we are all sinful creatures with many limitations, bound to hurt one another in our own blindness. Instead, having a marriage where each partner takes turns leading where they are strong and deferring where they are weak allows the couple to better pursue Christ. Both voices can be heard as husband and wife acknowledge that they are learning together and from each other.

Example of Adam and Eve

Another reason I find myself in favor of egalitarian marriage is the relationship Adam and Eve had before the fall. In Genesis 2, the Hebrew words “ezer” and “kenegdo” are combined  to describe Eve as a “helper of the same nature.” It’s worth noting that “ezer,” or “helper,” does not refer to someone who serves in an inferior status, but that this same word is used to describe God as the helper of Israel.

Hierarchy in marriage was not the ideal for Adam and Eve, as revealed in Genesis 3:16 where it is because of their sin that Adam shall now rule over Eve. Dennis Preato writes that “the subordination of women occurred as a result of the Fall. However, this condition no longer exists for it was lifted as a result of the atoning work of Jesus Christ who has redeemed us from the curse of the Law (Gal 3:13).” Because Christ has come, men and women can resume the symmetrical relationship they once shared.

Women are not inferior

Finally, one of the most important reasons I identify as an egalitarian is my belief that it is biblical for women to have authority. A large number of complementarians maintain that women should never have power over or instruct men.

When I reflect on how Genesis refers to Eve as a “helper of the same nature,” I see no reason why a woman is not equally capable of leading well. In Judges 4, the prophetess Deborah gives men instructions to follow from God himself, and Scripture notes that “the people of Israel came up to her for judgment.” Here we can see that it is not against God’s design for women to have authority. A woman’s voice is just as valuable as a man’s, as she too is a sacred, beloved creation of God, and that should be reflected in marriage.

A good marriage, in my eyes, looks something like what Sarah Bessey describes: “You lead and I lead, we are both following His music, no hierarchy here … we submit to each other because we follow Him, we both practice playing second fiddle.”