Written by Nathan Howden

Is it serious?
I'm afraid it is.
Am I gonna die?
Well son, death is gonna catch up to all one day,
but yours is coming quicker than ours, than ours.

That quote has nothing to do with this post; I just really like the song.

I went to the doctor today to get a physical for Biola. My family has new medical insurance so we no longer go to Kaiser, which means I had to go to this random doctor's office that I had been to once, many years ago. Upon entering the office, we found out that my appointment wasn't until 1 p.m. – not 11 a.m. like I had been told. So after shopping for supplies, we returned to said office to get said physical.

Returning to the office, I found that one of the nurses working the front desk is chewing gum and the second is checking OMG on Yahoo. Very professional, I must say. After sitting and filling out a survey that went a little something like this: back pain-no, tender breast-no, smoker-no, I was ushered into the back room and was asked if I wanted to do the urine test now or later. “When in Rome,” I thought, so I did the urine test “now” rather then “later.” Plus I really had to pee and had been storing up for this occasion. After "filling the cup" I was weighed and asked about my height. I was then asked to strip down to my skinnies and put on this robe that "opens from the back." The nurse that helped me made me a little nervous; she seemed unsure at times and talked to herself a little. She was strange and enjoyable, but she also made me nervous.

I took off my clothes and put on this "robe," if you will. The only way I can describe it is paper towels put together to make it look like it was a real robe. The doctor came in and asked me some questions. One of the questions was, "Are you on cocaine?" to which I replied ,"No." But I did wonder what he would say if I had said, "Yes, I am." He then did a series of tests which seemed very strange, and I kept waiting for a "just kidding." After some, “Umm, how do I put this?” awkward moments, I was told that I would be given a shot and a PBD test by none other than the nurse who made me nervous.

The nurse came in with the shots and said, "Oh that is so not cool!" So I look at her and she said, "The needle just fell off. Hang out, I’ll go get another one." At this point I was praying, “Dear God don't have her kill me!” I don't get worried with shots, but this time I was. She came back, gave the shot, and I didn't die (yet) so I think it was a success.

I then had to go to another lab to pee in another cup, after which I was told to come back on Thursday for the results. I then went to Safeway and paid $119 to get a shot. So now my arms are sore, my bladder is empty and I feel a little violated; it was a fun day at the doctor’s office.

We learn many things from the world of health. We learn that eating five a day keeps the doctor away, that shots and needles aren't scary but nice and helpful, and most importantly we learn that in order to get to a university, you not only need to get good grades, but you also need to get three shots, two urine tests and an awkward paper robe. This is the start of something wonderful. Biola University, here I come!