In line at the Talon to satisfy the juice cravings I’ve harbored since I got off caffeine, I avoided eye contact with the list of sweet, familiar beverages brewing behind the counter. I simply couldn’t do it to myself. Picturing a Chai Tea latte or even black coffee still makes me tremble at the knees. In the busy life of a student, those savory drinks serve as quick flings. They are constant, easy. I miss those little guys.

When I got to the counter, a new list tempted my appetite. “The Tall, Dark, and Handsome,” “The Sweet Sweetheart,” and “Crush on You” challenged the resolution of my taste buds. The Talon’s drinks had been renamed with these sultry selections. Would I be able to resist the urge to bring bubbly caffeine to my lips? Would I fantasize about changing my Facebook status to “in a relationship” with you, “Strawberry Blond?” Or would I have to make a quick dash to the door like an enamored school boy?

I made it through, but I’m still torn on whether I’m going to succumb to my iced tea needs on Valentine’s Day. I’ll be solo, probably watching television and laughing cynically. The irony of it is that most of us will be in that situation: lamenting in our dorms about the last time we had a Valentine while dozens of wonderful people do the same thing. Valentine’s Day is one of the loneliest times of the year. Why do we feel so alienated from each other?

Biola culture is alienating. Even though it sometimes seems like everyone has a place in our midst, we’re still struggling with how to love authentically and wholeheartedly, so people fall through the cracks. I believe we can check the pulse of Christ’s body by looking at its weakest members and seeing how they are doing. How is that guy who is usually quiet? How about that woman who is always busy? How about the people questioning their sexual identities? How are the women and men of color? How about our leaders? Weakness looks different for different people. I can’t assume a smile means somebody is always happy.

I don’t know exactly how well we’re doing. Feelings of loneliness and depression don’t always make it to the surface. Even those who appear to have everything put together will be in line on V-Day to push away some anxiety or fatigue. I’ll probably be there, too, counting my blessings and hopefully sharing this moment with a friend. I can’t help but think of those who won’t be as lucky as I am. And I pray they know they’re loved as much as much I am, too.