“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Dickens stated it well, and many students would apply his words to their own collegiate years. Freshmen, transfers, and students at all levels of their college life will receive varying views about what should be done in order to save unnecessary hard times. Parents, classmates, professors, provosts and even the university president chime in with their advice and insight.

The list of do’s and don’ts flow from everyone’s lips, being repeated and emphasized until you could open your own business offering pre-studious counseling. Most of this guidance is extremely rewarding when followed and can aid you during your stressful, engaging time at Biola. However, some of these prudent thoughts, when viewed incorrectly, can evolve into a stressful menace affecting your person and your relationships.

The problem with college is the same with any other societal structure: expectations abound about what is normal and acceptable. For anyone entering the university, even (and maybe especially) a Christian one, not following a prescribed model of the “college experience” can create discomfort and confusion about living correctly. But what is one’s college experience? It is there, in trying to live up to that phrase, that unnecessary expectations lie. So, in light of the fact that every incoming freshman, transfer, and returning student is unique and remarkable in her own way, I give you these sentiments:

Slow down college kid!

Don’t overbook yourself. I learned this the hard way. You might feel like you need to participate in a ministry, a club, your dorm life, your friend circle, and your major group; but I disagree. You don’t need to overwork yourself. With so many people desiring your attention, your time, and your effort, you don’t have the resources to give and give and give. There are only a certain amount of hours in a day, and you need to sleep. Yes, I sound like your mom, but only because I have the experience to back me up. You might feel that you’re getting ahead, or thinking “this will look great on my resume,” but if those are your only reasons, you should drop it and stick to something you enjoy.

Also, being “friends” with everyone on campus is not mandatory or healthy. Life is about loving people, not collecting names. Give the tasks of serving people and taking care of yourself the commitment they deserve.

This is YOUR story to live

Also, never forget that your experience at college is The College Experience. You don’t want to attend the varsity game against APU? Great. You start dating your freshman year? It happens. You don’t want to go into leadership or don’t feel called to ministry? Don’t worry. You’re not letting God down. The expectations of the university, and especially those of the Christian community, should not influence you to be anything but who you are. Pressure to form tight-knit friends on your hall should change into a desire to love people whenever God puts them into your life. As I stated above, unless you enjoy something, stay away from it. You don’t have to live up to a standard to enjoy college. Most importantly, remember this: God loves you, because He loves you. Your growth and your good deeds cannot affect that: neither will your mistakes and failures. You’re saved, you’re free. Live that way.

As a good friend recently said, “You don’t have to be like everyone else. You don’t have to be stereotypical to be awesome.” So don’t try to be someone you’re not. Just be the person God loves, the one He individually created. Your college experience will come and go, but God and His love will remain.