After attending an array of lectures, purity seminars and conferences, I have come to the conclusion that Christians develop a strong stance for physical, sexual purity within the Church. However, recent experiences have taught me that physical purity is not so much of a problem as a consequence of a problem. This problem is a result of our neglect to create emotional boundaries with a special person of the opposite gender.

The desire to pursue and to have relationships is not evil. Our need to create an emotional relationship stems from human nature. Although Adam was living in a perfect environment and had a close relationship with God, he was still lonely. God recognized Adam’s loneliness, and created a woman to accompany him. From this example in creation, we gather that building relationships with the opposite gender is something honored by God.

Yet emotional boundaries are necessary when maintaining sexual responsibility and purity. When you share the most intimate thoughts and expressions of yourself to a person of the opposite gender, you are forming a bond that goes beyond physical boundaries. You are allowing yourself to form a bond of emotional dependence and trust. The thick walls that you have placed around your heart are now leveled. An emotional bond begins and evolves with time.

Because of the evolution of your emotional involvement and the growing lack of inhibition, physical fulfillment is a natural consequence. Your physical body manifests what is occurring on the metaphysical plane. Simply put, your emotional identity is strongly connected to your physical identity. The physical actions manifest the stirrings in your soul.

Therefore, sexual abstinence of action is only half of the maintenance of sexual purity and responsibility. In order to carry and fulfill both halves, emotional boundaries need to be practiced and enforced. The level of emotional intimacy depends on the diverse dynamics of the couple. So the question I pose to you is this: How can you daily practice guarding your heart?