In a world ruled by virtual relationships and digital communication, an extra smiley face or lack of an exclamation mark can make or break a conversation.

This text analysis comes second nature to females, especially when faced with a cryptic text from a boy of interest. Decoding a message can be as complicated as deciphering hieroglyphics or as straightforward as the Hollywood sign. It depends on any of three factors: word choice, emoticons and response time. But at the end of the day, make sure to not kill the exchange with overly reading into things!

The diction of a single message can be crucial to an exchange. Did he say “sure” or “absolutely” when asked if he wanted to get dinner at the Caf? Does he overuse acronyms like “ttyl” or “lol,” not making the effort to actually spell out the words? Over analyzing is a bad habit that’s hard to break, but is still so easy to go looking for the hidden message!

We know that the proportion of our obsessive analysis to guys’ actual effort in a message isn’t balanced. Even so, understanding where he’s coming from and what he really means is imperative to the relationship process.

A big help in deciphering a message string is the use of emoticons in a message. The ultimate goal is to send a clear enough message so that emoticons aren’t necessary, but girls are suckers for smiley faces. Somehow, the sun seems brighter and the worst day is bearable if that hottie from Foundations of Christian Thought class includes a smiley with “Hey!” Mistaking friendly for flirty is common, even though, so keep the real talk in person!

While words and smiley faces are useful for analyzing messages, another helpful clue to how he’s feeling is his response time. Was it immediate? After three hours? The excuse of “I didn’t get your text!” is becoming more obsolete with each new device. The effectiveness of the classic Three Day Rule is more limited as relationships and correspondence becomes more about timeliness than suspense.

Even though decoding messages is important, it’s better to under-analyze than over-analyze. I myself am a victim of reading into messages that have no significance, and essentially leading myself into thinking feelings are mutual when they aren’t. Girls should leave at least a little room for mystery!

Reality is that relationships are becoming increasingly lived through screens instead of in person. The average teen sends 3,339 texts a month, according to Mashable.com! Guys have more room to be cowardly, and girls have more excuses to obsess. In an age of Facebook stalking and Instagram trolling, a heavy dose of real-life correspondence is due.

At the end of the day, a face-to-face compliment or affirmation will mean more than the same words on a screen. So this Valentine’s Day, take a risk, put away the phone and tell him or her in person that you think they’re the cat’s pajamas!